Tipping Tat

Saucyman, I took clients out to a expensive restaurant and had a horrible, awful waiter. He set the entrees down in front of the wrong people, presented the bottle of wine to the oldest man at the table instead of the person who ordered it (Me – a youngish woman) and then got all chatty and friendly right before the check. I normally tip around 20% but have gone as high as 50% for really good service, I left 10% and feel I shortchanged him. What is the rate one tips for bad service? - Cheap is how I feel


0%, Nada, Nothing, take a pen and write ‘no tip’ in thick block letters in the blank line reserved for the gratuity. Whether ordering barbecue standing at a counter, sitting down for a bowl of Pho, or dining in a fancy pants establishment, there is a basic level of service to expect. Tipping isn’t an entitlement; if your server cannot provide the basic standards of his/her profession then they don’t deserve a gratuity.

This runs contrary to most advice – generally travel writers, advice columnists and gentler souls recommend leaving a smaller percentage of 5 – 10%. The logic being in most places tips aren’t really tips at all but de facto wages - expected, taxed and needed. Additionally, not tipping negatively impacts busboys, backwaiters, dishwashers, hosts and occasionally kitchen staff, but low tipping takes money away from them too.

Tipping at a lower rate is ineffective because:

• I (embarrassingly) know people (under 65 even) who tip 10% for good service.

• Being a cheap bastard has no punitive effect on anyone but yourself. (Seriously, does Dickens spend anytime on the miserly Scrooge’s bad waiters?)

•Tipping at low rate allows for wiggle room – The waiter is equally dissatisfied with you and can feel you were a difficult customer & a bad tipper. Or that you were on an expense account and can’t/won’t tip above your policy so what is the point. Or the tips were off because the kitchen was slow all evening. No tip unequivocally states a waiter failed at doing their job.

To purposefully leave no gratuity, the nuclear option of tipping, you have to be extra sure you are experiencing bad service. Since this should be the last resort, it has been 3 years since I felt compelled to skip a tip, be careful and ask yourself: Was the restaurant crowded, are you cranky because you waited or your reservations weren’t ready? Was the staff shorthanded? Was the food sub-par, did it take forever to get your order? Is your server making excuses or trying to correct a problem? Although they might wear your patience down, a bad date or an obnoxious client isn’t your waiters fault - sometimes it is hard to sort emotions out in the moment, just sayin'. Each of the above makes for an unpleasant dining experience, but they aren't the result of bad service.

Waiters have bad days, make mistakes and aren’t always at their best, besides good food and good company will generally overcome the worst a waiter can do. If the service is poor, I tip my bare minimum 15% - exactly down to the penny and let it go at that. From your description you had aggressively bad service: Your waiter paid little attention to his responsibilities, failed at the things well within his control and then when it was important to him, he turned up the charm attempting to gloss over his negligence– you should be thankful he was just your waiter not your boyfriend. You could feel righteous leaving no tip.

One final note is that you are pretty much obligated to follow up with the owner/manager about what happened. Odds are you will tell your friends and associates why you will never eat at that establishment again, the owners should have access to the same information. Wait one or two business days, be specific about your complaints, like you were with me and let the manager react – they might not handle it well either, but you should give them a chance to make corrections and win back your business.