Beertarded

S-Man, My boyfriend of three months comes over to my apartment, opens the refrigerator and asks where the beer is. He is done this about a dozen times. I don't like beer or drink beer, actually I am not much of a drinker but should I just keep some beer around for him? This Chick is Without Beer

In their slim and enjoyable guidebook, A Gentleman Entertains, John Bridges and Bryan Curtis recommend that a host keep essentials like Whiskey, Vodka, Gin, Tonic, Mixers along with wine and yes, ample supplies of beer. I am not sure how applicable this is because it doesn’t appear that either one of you is much of a gentleman.

By not being a dude, you have a good excuse for not aspiring to gentlemanly niceties - Your boyfriend however is being kind of a tool on this issue. And by kind of, I mean, his behavior ranks between doltish to being decorumtistic; two words I am not particularly sure a gentleman uses to describe someone’s love interest.

Saucyman has no problems providing food or drink to guests a host wouldn’t necessarily keep around from him/her self: Despite not being a huge participant in breakfast, a meal whose importance is really overstated, I will make pancakes for preferred guests. I have cooked and enjoyed vegetarian and vegan meals for dinner companions who have different opinions/tastes/values ascribed to food than I do. Hell, I have a mostly full bottle of Kahlua left over from two dates 10 years ago; BTW, Does anyone know how long that stuff lasts?

Since he is the only one partaking, if your boyfriend wants beer, he should put some in the fridge. If he thinks, feels or expects you as a host, lover, love interest, should provide him with beer because he likes beer, you like him and he likes you - he needs to state his expectations rather than being all candy ass about it. Again not words I am really sure a gentleman uses.

The next time he does this – As playfully as possible - Bonus points if you can use Narnia and brewery in the same sentence – let him know he will be looking a long time since you don’t drink beer. Tell him you know so little about beer, you don’t even know where you can buy it legally. And even if someone did hook you up with a connection, you wouldn’t know what flavor to purchase. And you would hate to buy something that would just go bad in the fridge, like last week’s Thai. Let him know if he wants to keep a personal stash (of beer) at your house, you can make some room for that in your life and kitchen.

And who knows? Once you get familiar with what he wants and likes, there might someday just be a 6 pack there for him.