The Soy of Cooking

Saucitarian, SIL is coming for a day I like to call Turkey Day. Despite the fact I know her dietary choices, she will stand in the kitchen and ask what is in the food: I call it control freak; she calls it vegan. My brother tells me she would really like a not bird, a meat substitute. I already feel I am bending over backwards for her, do I have to get a tofurkey? - Wanting to tell someone to furk off

No, you don’t have to; the question is, should you cook a tofurkey.

I almost understand the tofurkey; ever since umami was confirmed as the fifth taste along with sweet, sour, salt and bitter there has been a greater acceptance of any food or preparation that produces a protein-ee, savory taste. Seaweed, mushrooms, soy (especially soy sauce) and tomatoes are all vegetables that are rich in glutamic acid, an amino acid that trigger taste receptors on the tongue. Umami can be gently described to/by any non-vegan as ‘meaty’, it is a satisfying taste on a very primal level and completely understandable why people would crave it.

What isn’t understandable is why a vegan would want a meat substitute. After animal welfare, better living through natural eating is a common reason cited for a vegan diet. Tofurkey, Quorn and the fake bird made of soy with a crisp cellulose skin (think bad sausage casing) are incredibly processed foods. Tofurkey is a little better than the others as far as processing goes, but as for taste and texture - I don’t understand the attraction. These products are pretty much the opposite of natural foods.

Secondly, vegans are fond of telling everyone, people can have a healthier diet life without meat. So why the meat substitute? Rather than embracing the goodness of fruits, nuts, veg and grain, they dress food up like meat. If one doesn’t need meat to survive and thrive, why process foods to look, act and taste like meat? It seems vegans/vegetarians are undermining their own arguments in much the same way the original Moosewood Cookbook tells you how great vegetables are and then recommends covering them in feta cheese or yogurt rather than actually tasting them.

As a host, you have an obligation to respect food choices of your guests, no matter how annoying they are: The victim of celiac disease who eats pizza once a week; The vegetarian who eats fish and stuffing cooked with chicken stock but not slices of turkey; the vegan who is more worried about other people’s dietary habits than their own choices - as a host you need to provide food for them.

Serve 3-5 things your guests can eat. The upside, to this turkey lover anyway, fruits, nuts, veg and grain are all so delicious they don’t need to be processed beyond recognition to be enjoyed. Make a small potion of succotash, corn soup, serve wild rice with wild mushrooms, or make the bacon sprouts with walnuts instead. Toast pecans with brown sugar and a little cayenne pepper, roasted beets or glazed carrots are great side dishes. I hear sweet potatoes and kale is to die for and roasted potatoes in olive oil are easier to cook than making a separate batch of mashed potatoes with soy milk.

While I can speak generally to why you don’t have to cook a fake bird, I can’t answer what you need to do for this specific occasion. If you don’t do what she wants to do, will it cause friction - at the table? For your brother? Then being right, unfortunately, isn't worth it Based on the fact you are asking about this issue, I would guess you know what you need to do already which is cook the soystitute bird, but on the positive side you can actually microwave the thing without loosing any taste or quality.