The conversation turned to hot sauce when I mentioned I had to duck into Whole Foods and get a couple bottles of Crystal. The grocery store in my zip code, the one I visit twice a week, doesn’t carry Crystal and I never remember to pick any up when I am at Whole Foods
For Christmas, I was gifted a half dozen bottles of Crystal and two months later, I was down to two and half bottles with a batch of Red Beans (and Rice) on the horizon,I was getting a bit hoardee with the remaining bottles. I was wondering if I should just use, my back-up hot sauce, Trappey’s. A good tasting product despite the gums, dyes and fillers, a fine understudy, the type of hot sauce one can run out of without panicking.
My brother, mentioned his father-in-common-law loved the Trappeys and he would tell anyone who would listen why Trappeys ruled the universe. Although, my brother commented on this like it was a bad thing, I was somewhat sympathetic: People should be passionate about food and more importantly, I wasn’t the one who had to listen to the dissertation.
The king of all hot sauces is Tabasco. Having fled Avery Island at the end of the Civil War, a source of salt for Confederate supplies, the McIlhenny family returned in 1868 to find their plantation in ruins and only a crop of red peppers remaining. Vinegar, salt, sweat and a century built an empire that now holds a quarter of the market and sells 26 million USD worth of hot sauce annually.
Plantations, ruin, southern gentleman, restoration of honor…the truth might be a tad more complicated than the intertwined plotlines of Gone with the Wind and The Fountainhead– slavery, insurrection, ownership of land mined for salt by native Americans for centuries before the Louisiana Purchase, just sayin that's all, just sayin.
Not quite as legendary is Crystal Hot Sauce. Produced since in 1923 by the family owned Baumer foods, who also are currently responsible for the Ditka line of sauces. They might be fine sauces, but, Ditka, Coach Ditka, Ditka? That is a little like a Trent Lott line of hair care products.
Anyway, unlike the rural hot sauces, Crystal is the city mouse. Historically the manufacturing was done near Tulane or now in post- Katrina suburban New Orleans, Crystal company uses the same three ingredients as Tabasco – Vinegar, salt and cayenne peppers, but the result is a well balanced, mellower, kinder, sweeter condiment.
Crystal is more viscous than its better known counterpart, my guess would be that the Baumers use more peppers, seep fewer of the heat containing seeds and spend a little bit more on the vinegar. And it is just a guess, Tabasco’s burn isn’t a pepper burn, there is a lingering unpleasant acidic taste, the flavor is less complex, like a guy with a zany neck tie, Tabasco wants to make a memorable first impression and doesn’t have much after its introduction. By the way you can order your Tabasco tie here.
Crystal excels as a marinade –catfish quickly soaked in hot sauce, dredged in cornmeal and fried makes for a fine dinner. I have no concerns about adding Crystal during cooking, something I would never do with Tabasco for fear of food getting overwhelmed by a bad vinegar taste.
Emeril, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and apparently even Mike Ditka has a hot sauce and I haven't tried them all - I am curious how Crystal would fare in a blind tasting ala Cook's Illustrated, probably wouldn't change my mind - I like opinions even if talking about hot sauce comes dangerously close to entering Cliff Claven territory.












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