More, more, morel - how do you like it

Saucyman – I thought wild mushrooms were a fall thing, yet I keep seeing really expensive morels in the market: Explain this please. The Fungal Connection

Mushrooms are saprophytic, feeding off decaying or dead matter instead of soaking in the sunlight in order to survive. Despite nothing being consistent with how the word is normally used, when caps poke above ground, the mushroom is said to be ‘fruiting’. According to Michael Kuo’s Morels, morels fruit all the time, all over but in the US mostly from February to June. The season extends a wee bit longer in the northern climes and Canada.

They are a true wild mushroom, as opposed to oysters or shiitakes which can be cultivated, morels are harvested in actual or managed nature, doing especially well in ashy soils or the spring after a fire. Apparently, morels are huge in the Midwest, having spent my first 22 years in 4 different Midwestern states, I had no idea. On the contrary, my experience taught me mushrooms were usually sliced, sometimes canned and occasionally part of cream of mushroom soup, never enjoyed and certainly not an expensive indulgence. Michigan, Iowa and Wisconsin are all big morel gathering areas. On the west coast California, Oregon and Washington all contribute their share.

Morels come in a couple different styles: White, black, common and thick-footed. Rumor has it the white is the most flavorful, and if that isn’t true, it is at least the most prized. Hollow on the inside, morels have a distinct honeycomb head sitting on top of the usual mushroom base. While honeycomb implies order and precision, morel's honeycomb shape comes in more of a Gaudi sense of nature abhorring a straight line. Alan Davidson describes the top of the mushroom, perhaps more accurately, as looking like a brain or a ball of twine.

Morels contain helvellic acid (The Swiss Acid?); this is described as either toxic or poisonous, depending on the source. Peterson Field Guide declares the acid as poisonous but only to some and issues a special warning that sometimes, maybe, possibly in certain people morels and alcohol can cause problems so put that moreltini down. In any case helvellic acid is neutralized by heat, caution dictates this mushroom should never be eaten raw.

Recently, Saucykitchens™ received about a cup and a half of small morels, which is nice because at $30 a pound, the bang ain’t worth the buck to me. But for free, they ended up being the focus of a meal. The mushrooms were sautéed in butter with salt and garlic sliced so thin it made the garlic cut in Goodfellas look like Rachel Ray sprinkling garlic powder into a pan. The morels were added over a low heat - their slightly chewy, meaty/earthy taste stands up well to other strong flavors. Here they were combined with asparagus and corn stripped off the cob - which added a note of sweetness and color. Served on a buckwheat and corn bilini, it was a meal that announced springtime.

Rehated - May 29

Po-tay-toe/Pa-tot-toh

Did you know that it is the International Year of the Potato? Well, that and the year of the Rat - if you are into lunar astrology. I’m scared of rodents and into food, so potato works on a personal level. The IYP, apparently the United Nations is the sanctioning body on this event, so depending on your feelings about black helicopters, world governments and such you don’t have to recognize the legitimacy of the spud year. Even so, the potato is being promoted as a way to combat poverty and malnourishment.

The price of the potatoes have held steady in the current wave of what is being called agflation. The Food and Aid Organization of the United Nations theorizes this is because –

"Unlike major cereals, potato is not a globally traded commodity. Only a fraction of total production enters foreign trade, and its prices are determined usually by local demand and supply conditions, not the vagaries of international markets."

Perhaps something is to be said for limiting profiteering on needed commodities like electricity, food staples and such. Then again, when really smart, capable people work on regulation it can lead to stuff like the US Agricultural policy having a hand in the cost of chips declining as food prices increase – here.

Some fun potato facts –

• 85% of the plant is edible – as opposed to an average of 50% for most cereal crops.
• Grown in almost any climate .
  
• Are frequently distilled, occasionally quite deliciously.
  
• Tubers are not roots but thickened stems that store the plant’s food supply.
  
• The Solanum is member of what is often called the deadly nightshade family, but Saucyman remains unconvinced, since this family also includes tomatoes and eggplant and um, BTW – we are quite convinced the nightshade is deadly and tomatoes, potatoes and countless other mealtime favorites are, in fact, truly members of this family, but there has to be a better of expressing the relative deadliness as it is applied to everyday food.

Frankenstein was the name of the creator, not the sentient 'monster'...

Frankenstein is also the name of a horribly bad Kenneth Branagh film, so bad in fact, it isn’t even shown on TBS at 3am Sunday morning and rumor has the movie has never risen above 50 on anyone netflix’s queue, ever.

Saucyman will never be in the mob forming to kill Frankenfoods. First of all, people eat Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) all the time, especially if they eat out or eat process/prepared foods. Selective outrage isn't cool.

Selective breeding and natural selection has improved/changed plants for millennia. Does the fact technology has upgraded to the point where plant developers don’t need a test lot, two parent plants and a research grant stop us from taking advantage of science, just asking? Wired Magazine has a sober answer about the possibility of GMOs here.

All this talk leads perfectly to a good and sensible article from Grist Magazine about the need for a good and sensible food policy in the US.

Saucyman will be back in time for the start of the weekend answering a question about morels, including pictures from the Saucykitchen™ and serving ideas.

Buddha's Hand, My ass

Dear Saucyman,

What the hell do you do with Buddha’s Hand citrons besides admire them for their spidery circus freak tentacles? So far all I've come up with is cramming them in mason jars full of vodka (which makes for superb mixing after a few weeks of soaking). Can these things be cooked in any way?

--Pithed Off

I like the idea of a Buddha’s Hand (BH) stuffed in a glass jar – that falls somewhere between a prop in Silence of the Lambs and an exhibit at the Mutter Museum. As far as vodka goes - for those without the restraint to wait a few weeks while it infuses or to a lesser extent, do not have access to a BH, the Saucyman staff can testify here that Hangar One* does a great job with infused vodka.

Saucyman is always double sourced for your protection, but this question took a little more fieldwork than usual – books, asking a specialty produce -well, specialist, consulting a soon to be horticulturist and exploring the interwebbie: Sorry information super highway, even scouting the generally more button-down government and academic sites for facts and such, books inevitably seem a more reliable source of information. The consensus opinion is that the BH really isn’t grown for consumption.

Alice Water’s Fruit does have a recipe for Citron and scallops but she most likely calling for the Etrog, which looks like a horned lemon. The BH isn’t the only citron with religious connotations - Etrogs are produced for the autumn Sukkot festival. Jews believe the citron is the fruit is referenced in Leviticus. On a religious note – that makes the citron the only food approved for eating in all of Leviticus. And just in case you think the book of Leviticus is getting all soft, according to University of California – Riverside:

“Trees for this purpose must not be grafted on rootstock like most other citrus; instead, they must be grown on their own roots, from seeds or cuttings; these must be from trees descended from stock known or believed to have never been grafted.”

Religiousocity aside, all this makes the BH akin to a rose - grown for scent and aesthetics. If it seems odd to have something you can pick up in the produce section with no nutritional value, remember iceberg lettuce set a precedent for that long ago. I couldn’t find the exact quote, but I remember reading (memory>more accurate than the web) that the essential oils of oranges are the most valuable part of an orange, worth far more than the juice. The bergamot, the orange – not the aromatic herb, is an inedible orange grown primarily to flavor Earl Gray Tea.

The human beings queried about the BH both quickly recommended alcohol. A few books suggested candying the ‘fingers’ in sugar or syrup, but other than saying you could do that, they didn’t really say what to do after the candying was complete. The internets were alive with the rumor that BH was a featured ingredient on Iron Chef, but none of the citizen journalists recorded how it was used, only that it was on TV. All sources, whether bound & printed, electronic or conversational agree one of the best things to do with the BH is place it on a platter to scent a room, along those lines, Velcroing a BH to a cat could only my only other suggestion.

Photos Mike McGriff


*Hangar One is one of the few distilleries without an annoying flash landing/splash page, thank you. All those graphic intense - take forever to load homepages prove is you have too much money and bandwidth & possibly a relative who too much college.

You call that a pastry?

Saucyman – Is a cake a pastry? Technically what is a pastry? La Patisserie

Ah, the gray area of dessert, where the crust meets the crumb…Boston Cream Pie is actually a cake. As Saucyfriend, Ydna Swartz points out, cheesecake with its two components of crust and filling is actually more like a pie than a cake. This is especially true considering the cream cheese filling is custard, akin to pumpkin pie. Are butter-rich scones pastry or cake? What about shortcake – not really a cake at all given the insane amounts of baking powder and butter? Then what about pancakes, which despite having cake in the title along with flour, eggs and sugar are not generally thought of as cake. Ladyfingers? Madeleine(s)? Teacakes, which are sometimes cookie-like or sometimes yeasted, but not always cakey? Where does it all end?

Perhaps the confusion was fated by the endless results that can be achieved by combining flour, eggs, salt, sugar and liquid with heat. Maybe it is because the word pastry evolves from a cognate of the Latin, pastaierie - while cake is evolved/co-opted from the Germanic-Scandinavian languages, whose different foodstuffs allow for some overlap between the two words. Dictionaries and Etymologies are little use besides telling us that the word pastry derives from paste and shares a common linguistic ancestor with the word/food pasta.

We’ll let another Saucyfriend, Michael Dickman take a crack at this. Michael studied words and how they go together, first at the University of Oregon (Go Ducks), then like his twin, Matthew, he received an advanced degree at UT Austin (Hook’em Horns) examining poetry. Longtime friend, a lover of words, food and other people’s good and usually expensive liquor – it is a poet thing (I have never taken a poetry class, let alone an advanced one but I am willing to believe that there is a credit or two to be had in identifying good booze). Michael earns his share of drink by volunteering on the Saucyman Usage Committee (unfortunately, The SUC) and explains here why cake is not a pastry -

Cake is not a pastry. Sad but true, no matter how small or how cute or how much you found it on a trip to Paris in the smallest and cutest PASTRY shop you had ever seen. Even though the Parisian proprietress was nice to you (and for the record Parisians are genuinely nice and giving people despite the American tradition of thinking them cruel and snobbish). It's still cake. Wrap it in glaze and chocolate plastic and smooth it out and it's still cake. Most of the eating and writing folks on my bookshelves take the time to separate cakes from pastry even in passing, such as this from James Beards' wonderful book, Delights and Prejudices:

"Pastry and cakes were not really my mother's forte, but Let (her chef) taught her how to produce certain typically English cakes. A good poundcake was one of these...Another of these cakes was seedcake. No tea table, in my opinion, is complete without a good seedcake."

Besides social semantics, the ingredients of the two, or rather the proportions are too different to be lumped together. In pastry, the large amount of fat and the fact that there is hardly any liquid in relation to the flour produces something flaky and often crispy. Not bouncy or springy like cake.

Here is what Harold McGee has to say:

"Pastries bear little family resemblance to cakes or breads or pastas. They're a very different expression of the nature of the wheat grain. In making other dough and batter foods, we use water to fuse the particles of wheat flour into an integrated mass of gluten and starchy granules, and further knit that mass together with cooking. By contrast, pastry is an expression of the fragmentary, discontinuous, particulate qualities of wheat flour."

So, there: Take that you science geeks.

-Michael Dickman

Although, I am still a little confused why pastry shops sell lots and lots of cakes and why Pastry Chefs bake them, I agree a cake is a cake and a pastry is a pastry. My reasoning differs a little from Misters Dickman and McGee, I defer to the great Rose Levy Beranbaum, whose monumental volumes, The Cake Bible and The Pie and Pastry Bible separate baked items into two camps. Pancakes & crepes are found in the Cake Testament and Scones are found in the Pastry Scroll and that is good enough for me.

Thanks to Michael, brother Carl and my Sister in Common-law for their help and input with word and definition week. Saucyman returns from the holiday weekend on Tuesday with the hows and whys of the freakish looking buddah’s hand citrus, later in the week we check the newspapers and internets to see what is happening in the world of food and close out the week answering yet another question about the world of food and drink.

A Word From the Kitchen - Saute

Saucyman likes words. Words are a bit of a mealtime ritual too - Saucyguests can rarely share food without arguing about meaning and definition. Dinnertime consists of food, drink and conversation - then someone will say something - the dictionaries get broken out, reference books are consulted, opinions stated, sides taken, arguments presented and rebutted. Usually, little is resolve but much is discussed. Considering the enthusiasm words receive around these parts, it only makes sense the number one viewed post to date has been on the pronunciation of the paella specific term, socarrat.

If American English is a big sponge, absorbing words and terms from all over the world as part of its dialect, the language of the kitchen is the ultimate polyglot, a freakin' UN of words and terms: Some words are borrowed from different languages, numerous words are used only to describe kitchen activities and many cooking terms are archaic - like recipes they get frozen in place while the rest of the language or cuisine evolves.

My brother, Carl will be periodically contributing to a new Saucyman feature of his design called A Word From the Kitchen. In addition to owning a copy of the OED - magnifying glass and all, Carl is an accomplished writer, a lover of food, a damn fine cook and constantly chides me to be more careful with my word choices. At the end of the week we will get a little insight from Carl's poetry colleague, Michael Dickman helping us figure out just what is a pastry anyway.

For now, here are some words on the word, Sauté.


Sauté

The dictionaries agree sauté comes from the French sauter, but they differ, ever so slightly, in their opinions of how sauter should be translated. It seems there are two acceptable choices for pulling sauter out of its French home and carrying it over into English. One choice is jump and the other leap. Not much of a difference, but if you follow the French root, just for a little while, other meanings suggest themselves. Another suitable option for translating sauter could easily be dance.

Sauté is to fry, over medium heat, in a small amount of butter or fat. The term, jump-fry, must refer to the action of flipping the contents up and out of the pan as a way to stir and rotate while cooking. Think of it in contrast to stir-frying, which uses high-heat, and a tool to constantly stir, so as not to burn.

When sautéing, remember to give your neighbors room to dance. If you crowd the pan with, say, too many green beans, they will release too much moisture and too much moisture leads to steam and steaming is a whole other cooking process. So, don’t stuff the pan. And if you don’t feel safe making the contents leap out, just use a wooden spoon or tongs to stir them occasionally. Don’t worry― your finished dish can still be called a sauté.

- Carl Adamshick

Bobbin for berries

Strawberries arrived at the Portland Farmers Market this weekend, not the big cottony red things you find at the grocery store by the same name, but the small, intense, juicy flavorful berries that stain your fingers red - the type of strawberry that you dream of for the other 11 months of the year. Strawberries open berrypalooza followed immediately by raspberries and blueberries. Berry season closes out later in the summer blackberries including the delicious but hilariously named, marionberry.

Shortcake, which might not be cake at all (more on that later this week), topped with hopefully whipped cream but sometimes Cool Whip is the very traditional partner for strawberries. Like any standard, be it a classic song or a mainstream dessert, the result can be a soulless cliché or if the cook (or singer) is attentive, energetic and respectful of the source material, the outcome can so very good you’d think the person spent years studying and perfecting its nuances.

Saucykitcens™ avoids the thick baking powder laced shortcake, occasionally cake is served with berries but it is in the form of Angel Food. Saucyguests are more likely to see berries served (surprisingly) with a sauce. On the simple end, either mascarpone lightened with a little Chantilly (Sweetened Vanilla’d Whip Cream) or Sauce Romanoff (roughly 1 part sour cream + 3 parts Chantilly = All Good) can be employed, but when time allows, nothing beats a custard sauce.

There are a few variations on egg-based dessert sauces – over the years my Sister in Common Law (SICLa) had such a hard time remembering her Zabaglione from her Cream Anglaise, that she just referrers to all of the custards as Bob. For a while she was doing really good, specifically IDing Zabaglione, asking if it was Sauce Roberto.

To help my SICLa and others keep track, here is the field guide to custard sauces to be used with berries:

Cream Anglaise – Consisting only of yolk, sugar, ½ & ½ and vanilla, this is the mother of all dessert sauces. The custard’s simplicity allows it to be adapted in all sorts of ways – mix in ¼ c of Scotch into a quart of Cream Anglaise and serve it with shortbread, stick it in an ice cream maker and use it as a base for homemade ice cream or stir in a little kirsch/framboise and drizzle it over berries.

Bavarian Cream – A vanilla and cream custard that includes gelatin or some kind of binding agent. This Teutonic variation is more rigid and not quite subtle as its English counterpart but it does hold up well in the heat of an afternoon party.

Sabayon – The dairy free and lightest of all custards, sabayon is usually made with a dessert or sparkling wine. Other beverages like pear/apple cider, Lambic Ales or flavored brandies can be easily substituted. Unlike Cream Anglaise, it does not subsume to stronger flavors, whatever liquid is selected for the sabayon will be the primary flavor - be careful to match flavors carefully. Champagne, Cava or Prosecco all make an extra good sabayon to be used with berries.

Zabaglione – An Italian Sabayon, specifically made with Marsala, this custard is best known to dessert lovers from its supporting role in Tiramisu. Besides being fun to say, Zabaglione is a good way to give berries a little something special without overwhelming them.

Jerkish Boy

Saucyman, I am going on an overnight(s) canoe trip with my special friend. Do you have a beef jerky recipe that will blow her away? This is our first trip away together and I really want to impress her. – Grizzled Adams

Grizzled, you are definitely paddling up the wrong creek here.

I am more along the lines of what you might call a great indoorsman. Sure, I have been ‘outside’, but who hasn’t? Years ago, I traveled with a special someone to a lake at the edge of a forest. Even then I didn't consider it camping, telling myself I was actually acquiescing to sex in the woods, only to find mosquitoes have more surface area to attack on a naked body. That was 18 years ago and I haven't been tempted by nature since.

For me, the great outdoors has been, well not so great. I am proud, very proud to be the only resident of the Pacific Northwest who does not know what the inside of an REI looks like. Not only have I never entered one, I shun my eyes when pass their display windows. As you might imagine this puts me at odds with the denizens in the upper left of the US map.

Singularly, I have railed against this pro-outdoor bias: Pointing out that for the last 50,000 years humanity has been moving away from the outdoors, constructing elaborate shelters, developing systems to deliver potable water and eradicating the threats from predators and disease carrying insects. All for what, so the drumbeat of civilization can be drowned out for 48 hours by a $400 backpack, a more expensive tent and eating food on the trail that is both charitably and accurately called rations? On the upside, having never set foot in fragile ecosystems, I am the lowest impact camper I know.

All I know about making jerky is watching Emile Hirsch/Alex Supertramp/Chris McCandless attempt to preserve meat in the movie version of Into the Wild. And considering that didn’t turn out to well, I am going to avoid giving pointers on how to make safe, edible and delicious jerky. However, I do three words of advice – New York City. Well maybe not the Isle of Manhattan itself but try a nice little jaunt to a more urban setting for your first trip together. Finding sushi and picking show you both want to see in a strange city can be stressful but it is easier than pitching a tent in the rain or digging your own latrine, nothing says like romantic get away like digging your own latrine.

A friend, who is the outdoor kind recommends this title as a decent camping cookbook but cautions he doesn’t hike inland for two days for the food. That is just something I don’t understand.

Next week Saucyman returns with a week of words & foods including a brand new feature – Word from the Kitchen.

Tough Beans

Saucyman – I love me some beans, especially white beans slow baked and finished with olive oil and garlic. Occasionally though, I hit a bean that isn’t cooked, while the other beans are in the words of Goldilocks, ‘Just right’. What gives? Fagoli


Cooking beans inspires a wide range of faith-based "facts", something a cook or a cookbook reader just doesn’t see in similar kitchen fundamentals, like boiling pasta. For successful spaghetti, linguine or penne - a big pot of boiling salted water is all that is required. Beans, which aren’t any more complicated than pasta, have some serious theoretical work surrounding their preparation – To prepare dried beans properly a cook is told in no uncertain terms not to add salt, soak the beans, avoid adding acidic items like tomatoes until the very end of cooking and/or add alkaline items, like baking soda.

While little evidence exists to support these claims, kitchen superstitions are not easily ignored. Dried beans need little more than steady moderate heat and adequate amounts of liquid. There are a few variables to address - Hard water, not enough water/liquid or low quality beans are the likely culprits of your legume woes.

First, is hard water - Excess levels of dissolved minerals, in particular magnesium and calcium might form hard deposits in and around the bean’s cell walls making it difficult to for the legume to absorb liquid. This can be countered by adding bicarbonate of soda to the pot-o-beans. Baking soda produces a peculiar texture, the beans seem mushy even before they are finished cooking. Besides, hard water and you’ll know if you have it, will effect all the beans, not just a few strays.

Roughly speaking there should be 3 parts water/stock/liquid to each part bean, except...Lentils, dal and split peas absorb less liquid and only need 2 cups wet for each cup of dry. Chickpeas suck more water than a Los Angeles lawn and need 4 to 5 times more water than bean. The problem of a few uncooked beans, could be caused by the cooking liquid evaporating, leaving a few beans drying out on the top, making them hard, unpleasant and inedible. Start all the beans in ample cold liquids, cover your pot and cook at a steady simmer and you should avoid the problem of too little liquid.

Finally, quality - Old beans are drier and take longer to cook. Spend the extra 10¢ a pound - Even the more expensive free-range organic legumes cost less than canned beans. Purchase beans from the bulk section in a store that sells a ton of beans – traditionally natural foods store or what is still referred to as an ethnic store (although I prefer the term nationalistic) are going to turn product over quicker and offer a fresher product.

Generally, you are going to have better results by using quality ingredients, avoid buying and cooking beans that look shriveled from the get go. Soak your beans for 3 to 4 hours before cooking – this will reduce cooking time (every day is earth day) and afford you the chance to discard any beans that rise to the top of the soaking water: Unfortunately named floaters, these little guys could be the ones that are too dry and are causing your problem. If you don’t have time to soak or don’t want to run your oven all day, try a crockpot. Or if you are like the Saucykitchen™ and don’t think about meals until about an hour before eating a pressure cooker works well.

Mixed Bag

Brunch-a-saurus

On any given weekend morning, crowds of people clog the sidewalks in front of the neighborhood breakfast places, but I should have been a little scared when I noticed American made cars outnumbered the Prisuses and Hondas on my dog walk - Mother’s Day brunchers were out in force.

According to the US population counter there were 305,000,000 around for this Mother’s Day. 50.8% of whom are women and about 90% of that group or 139,000,000 are mothers. All were out for brunch yesterday, most of them camped out in my neighborhood waiting for a table.

Going out to breakfast or brunch is a dubious proposition anyway – Saucyman’s much repeated bromide about getting charged $9.25 for 87¢ worth of ingredients is factually iffy and used to illustrate a larger point - paying for breakfast isn't worth the trouble. For half the money you’d spend in a restaurant you can make French Toast, Coffee and Bloody Mary’s for 6 without enduring long lines, weak coffee and occasionally disinterested servers. That is on a good day, on Mother’s Day, I rather attempt to have a pleasant, slow paced meal in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day.

Despite my warnings, dire warnings, like a code orange for brunch, Americans spent an estimated 3.5 billion – B billion dollars on taking mom out to brunch or dinner this year leaving me to ask what is wrong with a book or depending on the mom - gambling.

For those of you who enjoy thoughtful analysis more than wild speculation anchored by a few accurate stats…

The outstanding Sara Dickerman has a way good article about fancy food in the time of recession over at Slate.

Lost Supermarket

Only in the last few years has Grocery store opened near the Saucyman World Campus- A pair of articles from different coasts highlight the perils of limited food options

LA Times & NY Times

Salmon Ration –

The intricate question of how ethical or wise it is to eat seafood in this day in age becomes a little more complicated as the West Coast salmon fisheries are declared a disaster this year – here.

Check in later: Before the week is over Saucyman will answer 2 new questions -

MASCAR Fan

Saucyman – What is the deal with mascarpone – I know what it is, but what is it?

Mascarpone is best known as the ingredient in tiramisu that makes it so very special. After that the details get blurry…

First, how to say the word: Lots and lots of people vocalize the word with the ‘r’ in the front half - mars-capone – that pronunciation seems to be a prerequisite for using the product on teevee. Officially, it is Mas•kar•POH•Neh, the second half more like pony rather than (Al Ca)pone. Neither being nor speaking Italian and hailing from a place in the great Midwest – a place where you can get beat up for rolling your ‘r’s, I am pretty forgiving about pronouncing and mispronouncing foreign words. The name possibly derives from a style of Italian ricotta called mascherpin. Or mascarpone, the word, evolved from the Italian verb mascherare, meaning to dress up.

Besides the etymology and how to say it properly - everything is just a little confusing about the product. I am staring at a container claiming that mascarpone is a cheese, but mascarpone uses neither rennet nor starter so it is a cheese in a conventional sense. Instead of traditional cheese making enzymes, a mascarpone maker uses citric acid to encourage the dairy to part with some of its moisture. Nothing confusing about this, except citric acid evokes thoughts of a milk maid or cheese maker squeezing lemon juice into heavy cream, but citric acid is made and used industrially by adding a penicillin type of mold to sugar or corn syrup.

The next little bit of uncertainty comes from when it is made. Scores of books tell me, mascarpone is best in the winter in fall. Another volume tells me mascarpone is only worthwhile in spring when cows chew on clover – which, at least, theoretically adds both sweetness and a pale yellow tint to the cheese/not really a cheese. Except mascarpone is available year around: Two weeks ago, far from fall and winter, I had some damn-fine-fresh-as-it-comes mascarpone from Portland Farmers Market and it was so good, I went back and got some more the following week– Expensive and habit forming is a dangerous combination – even if it is just a dairy product.

But mascarpone’s inherent sweetness has little to do with the season or what the cow is chewing on, rather it is a combination of the presence of lactose and the absence of salt. Lactose or milk sugar besides being the part of dairy that people are intolerant of; it is also very sweet. According to Harold McGee, lactose is about half as sweet as table sugar. Because mascarpone isn’t a cheese in the sense the product undergoes chemical changes, the lactose stays intact instead of being converted to smaller, less noticeable sugars. Of course the lack of salt doesn’t make mascarpone any sweeter, it just seems that way with fewer sensations bombarding taste buds.

Without salt to preserve, pasteurization becomes responsible for extending mascarpone’s self-life. Most but not all manufacturers will use Ultra-Pasteurization. ‘Ultra’ makes the process sound super ninja and to an extent it is; 2 seconds @ 280ºƒ. The problem is Ultra-Pasteurization imparts an ever so slightly scalded taste on dairy products, overwhelming some of the subtler flavors in the cream. If one were to find mascarpone made from raw cream, they should do a serious risk analysis to see if the pleasure to potential pain ratio is worth a taste.

So to recap - mascarpone is made from pasteurized cream: Technically a cheese, but not in a traditional sense, it is akin to cream cheese but with double the fat, ridiculously weighing in with 70% butterfat. Mascarpone is sweet, lending itself easily to dessert and fruit with a special affinity for fresh figs but there are some savory dishes that traditionally call for mascarpone. Recently, I saw a very attractive woman make her own cafe correcto of sorts by spooning mascarpone in her coffee instead of grappa - something I had previously never thought to do, it looked so sophisticated, that simple act reminded me it is still a world of possibility and to a lesser extent, there are endless ways to use mascarpone.

Update - SF Chronicle has a thing on Mascarpone too. Copy Cats

Pick Your Team

From the title of Charles Bamforth’s book, Grape vs. Grain, I thought, finally, there would be a decisive ruling on which was superior, wine or beer. Maybe not in the Heavyweight Champion of the World sense but at the very least he would proffer a Bush v. Gore type of verdict. Sure people will still argue about the legitimacy of the decision, but there would a conclusive ruling nevertheless.

My bias leans towards beer; wine has always remained a bit of a mystery to me. Beer is easy, heuristic; wine has always seemed like taking an SAT I am ill-prepared for, where I inevitably fail both the analytical (Zinfandel, Merlot or Cabernet? Provenance of Australian, French or Napa fields?) and the verbal section (buttery, vanilla, barnyard).

On travels to Spain and Italy, wine did not seem as complicated – house red wine is drawn from casks in the back of bars, but at home in Oregon, smack in the middle Pinotland - wine is a club to which I don’t know the secret handshake. Over the years, I have turned to some pretty big books to help me decipher the regions, varieties and vintages of wine. For all the encyclopedic entries and explanations I have read, it has been relatively skinny Grape vs. Grain, half of which is dedicated to brewing, that has helped me understand the world of wine a little more.

Perhaps because it was written by a beer guy, Charles Bamforth, the Chair of the Food Science Department and the Anheuser-Busch Endowed Professor of Malting and Brewing Sciences at University of California, Davis. Professor Bamforth was kind enough to spend some time on the phone talking to Saucyman (the blog) about wine, beer and his book. I started by asking for an, unequivocal answer - which is better, wine or beer, Professor Bamforth staked out the middle ground saying “They are both fine beverages”.

Not a surprising answer given the balanced and thoughtful nature of his book. Rather than take sides, Bamforth evens out the playing field throughout Grape vs. Grain, making wine more approachable and extolling the virtues of beer and brewing.

Unable to pin him down on which is better, I asked Professor Bamforth why beer is more socially acceptable than wine in the US, “Historically beer was the drink of the settlers…a drink of moderation, still is…Wine is perceived as being elitist, it seems to have to have got itself onto a pedestal” Adding this haughtiness comes from a different source than its producers, “I am not so sure that it is the wine makers as it is the people who are hanging on, the camp-followers, like wine writers who quite frankly use some pretty silly terminology”.

Bamforth continues, “There is a mystique built up around [wine], where the reality is that beer is far more complicated scientifically and use far more complex, sophisticated technology, leading to a product of consistent excellence. There are a 1,000 different species in wine emerging from grapes and yeasts but a lot more, probably twice as much in beer, coming from the malt and hops and the water as well.”

While wine has been happy taking a more naturalistic course leading to yearly changes and vintages: A bottle of wine is one of the few products bought in a store where the quality and flavor varies from bottle to bottle. Bamforth points out “The fine tuning of the process is far more sophisticated in brewing."

In their quest to improve and make a consistent product, brewers have been willing to embrace and invent technology. Bamforth explains “Many of the early scientific discoveries were made in and around the brewing industry…Things as fundamental as PH came out of Carlsberg. [Brewing aided the field of] Statistics. The student-teacher relationship came out of Guinness Brewing Company in Ireland and so much more besides. Brewing has given some big scientific discoveries to the world.”

Bamforth balances out his brewing lore by stating “The wine industry is not primitive by any means”. Explaining there is tremendous work going on in viticulture. Although my questions stayed mostly in brewing spectrum, in his book Bamforth does far more justice to wine and wine making, covering the drink’s history, quality and flavor in a style that is both simultaneously easy and knowledgeable.

Even though Grape vs. Grain did not crown an undisputed winner in the Battle Royale of beverages, the volume is informative, detailed, knowledgeable and readable - somehow the book is avuncular. A good read, a good gift for the wine and beer lover in your life. And with Mother’s Day around the corner what better gift is there than the gift of knowledge? Seriously, your siblings are getting her flowers, give mom a book with a chapter detailing the health benefits of moderate drinking.

Saucyman returns with new post on Thursday morning about the true (but not so Hollywood) story of mascarpone cheese.

Reheated

Apparently, on a personal level, I use the word Ptomaine too much. Gadoozkery be damned, I like the word. In fairness, it is archaic, from wisegeek -

Ptomaine poisoning is an outdated term for food poisoning. It arises from the concept that ptomaines, small broken-down proteins in food, were the culprits behind people getting sick from food. We now know that ptomaine poisoning is actually poisoning by foods that have become infected with several types of bacteria. Food left out, for example chicken salad can readily develop bacteria.

According to the Center for Disease Control, 5,000 US residents die of foodborne illness each year, ptomaine is not an official cause of mortality.

And speaking of Maine...

The Onion has a very important R – rated message from a lobster. Warning - excessive swearing, threats of violence and genitalia is referred to in the vulgar form. If that isn’t enough to get you to link, it is very funny.

In more serious life aquatic news Salon discusses the concept of sustainable seafood.

Kentucky Derby Day is Saturday – Sure there is a horserace, but the event seems more like Carnival, Kentucky Style. The official drink of Churchill Downs is the mint julep. The Washington Post has a nice feature on the bourbon based mixed drink; here. Chow has a slightly different take here (with recipe). At the Downs itself – a ton of mint, 8000 liters of Early Times and 160,000 pounds of Ice will be used to make 120,000 mint juleps over a two-day period Friday and Saturday. In turn, this leads directly to 23,704 hair of the dog Bloody Marys being ordered at Louisville area Bruncheries and the airport bar Sunday Morning.

Speaking of bad decisions, Monday is Cinco De Mayo but there will no Saucyman related entry. A celebration commemorating the defeat of French Forces at the Battle of Puebla in 1862 (5 years before the war ended). The day has evolved/devolved into a bit of a pukefest based on Nachoes/nachos and Blended Margaritas. That isn't being snobby either, there is a time and a place for both, with orange being my all time favorite color, the pigmentation of the cheese/queso falls somewhere between admirable and inspirational on my value wheel. Instead - I know, I know, I know it is popular to dismiss the French as Cheese/Fromage Eating Surrender Monkeys but without sounding reactionary or that when I have to order soup, I order Freedom Onion Soup - I'm just sayin' if the world was to throw a party every time the French lost a military engagement, the social calendar would fill up quickly.

Alternatively, the fifth of May will feature our first interview here at Saucyman - Professor Charlie Bamforth author of Grape vs. Grain, was kind enough to answer a few questions and on Monday there will finally and decisively be an answer to which is superior - wine or beer. Or possibly just an interview.