Saucyman: Oxy-Moronic

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Oxy-Moronic

When does a cupcake become a cake? Size Matters

Last season on Ace of Cakes attempted to bake the world’s biggest cupcake. Cookware stores are selling giant cupcake pans. Last week, big-ass cupcakes were sighted & reported on in both the Northeast and down by Florida. Just when it was safe for smaller portions, as price and caloric pressures are the dominant consideration in food trends, huge cupcakes or as I like to call them, cakes, are everywhere this year.

I’m not a stickler about definitions. Words should first and foremost convey a meaning, create emotional and intellectual understanding, these are far more important than the exact dictionary usage of individual words. I’m especially casual about spoken language, which is far more flexible than its written counterpart (Web-ease, txting and twittering falling somewhere in between). Still my long dormant inner scold was awakened by the concept of full figured, plus-sized cup cakes.

I’m not sure there can be a giagundo cup cake – by definition this is a cake that is cup-sized or made from ingredients measured by a cup. The word cupcake was first used in 1828, when author Miss Leslie used the term to describe her White Cup Cake. Her cake, a smaller version of a pound cake – the cup is both a measurement (one cup of sugar, milk, butter & 4 cups of flour) and a presentation (the batter was baked in a cup-shaped pan).

Rather than reading me rant-on about word usage, which is really a false outrage, instead enjoy The Onion’s consistently funny, generally annoyed Amelie Gillette as she shakes her fist at a completely different aspect of the giant cupcake.

It used to be that the American Dream was self-sufficiency: to own your own home, or build your own successful business from the ground up. Now the American Dream is to bake a cupcake big enough for you to live inside, breathing only cupcake, eating only cupcake, trying to drink only cupcake, until you suffocate inside the mushy, sticky, sugary embrace of your very own giant cupcake tomb.

Well said Amelie, well said.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...: I've been emailed this "cake in a cup" recipe several times. (Example: http://www.dizzy-dee.com/recipe/chocolate-cake-in-5-minutes) Cup-cake?; October 6, 2009 12:30 PM

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Basketball

Since the lockout ended, I have been largely silent about the great sport of basketball. Despite Brandon Roy retiring, despite my beloved Blazer’s sprint out of the blocks to a really good start, despite my home team playing a style of basketball than can no longer be described as Van Gundying (Jeff) up the sport’s fluidity.

I don’t know, some interesting developments transpired: During the lockout, analysts and beat writers, the very people who possibly think about professional basketball more than I do, had a light bulb go on over their collective heads and across the league they discovered what everyone else pretty much already knew, NBA Commissioner David Stern is a dick. Over the last decade Stern forced bankrupt municipalities to build new stadiums for billionaires’ new play thing, this heavy handed behavior garnered nothing but praise. The writers sighed and thought eh, “we live in the suburbs, we write for suburban middle managers, our values are if anything anti-urban” - with all the weight that word carries. But needlessly locking out players jeopardizing their tenuous employment in publishing, well that is something that we might complain about except they hate the players more - Oh the conflict.

But mostly I can’t get excited about any team helmed by Nate McMillan. We’ll make the playoffs with a pretty good but not best record, maybe get home court advantage in the first round and then fail to advance. This is true until McMillan proves otherwise, 11 years a coach out of the first round once - this record while coaching some pretty good but not great teams. Along the way Nate will overplay star forwards LaMarcus Aldridge and Gerald Wallace so there is nothing in the tank come playoff time and risk their health. And yo-yo Nicholas Batum’s minutes so the young player becomes a head case instead of developing into a consistent contributor.

So a predictable finish is part of the my own jejune response to the return of the sport of kings (not really, that's horse racing) maybe it's the sweet science (damnit google says that's boxing). My attitude goes deeper than a finish more predictable than one of McMillan's earth toned, triple pleated suits, if the lockout exposed a fault line in NBA coverage it's that broadcasters and writers are now PR agents for the teams - so who is left to advocate for the fan - thank goodness for blogs and the posting cyborg that is named Henry Abbott.

2nd round or bust